Emilee didn’t grow up in a Christian home. She grew up around an abusive father who ended up leaving her and her mom when she was 5 years old. Because of this abuse and abandonment, Emilee dealt with major depression growing up. She often felt alone and turned to alcohol, people, sex, self-harm and eating disorders to fill her emptiness. She was often out-casted and bullied in school, and felt like she was not good enough for others.
Emilee continued to deal with depression and self-harm all the way up to the summer after graduating High School. That summer, Emilee saw no point to life anymore. She felt worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Emilee hated life, and hated herself. She often cried out, “Where are you Jesus? God, do you even care?” But, she never heard anything.
So, that August, Emilee went to go end her life. She drove up to the highest bridge in California and planned to jump. She looked down from the bridge and saw no life worth living for. All of a sudden, as she was standing on the edge about to jump, she heard God’s voice cry out to her saying, “Hold on a little longer! Things will get better.” She had never heard God’s voice until that moment, so all she could do was sit there on the bridge and take it all in. Then after a while, she cried out to God and started telling him everything she was feeling.
Today, Emilee still has struggles. But now, she realizes that her worth is found in Christ. She stopped identifying herself by other people and objects, and only measures her worth through the lens of God’s unending love. She knows how much God cares for her, and that he has always been there for her. Although she calls herself a “run away Christian,” Emilee still finds her way back to God and knows God has his arms open wide, waiting for her to return.
