Finding My Identity

“I grew to believe that I was unworthy, unlovable, and useless…”

Finding My Identity

I grew up in an abusive home where I was sexually trafficked by my mother to other family members. I told my pastor, my teachers, doctors, and nurses. No one did anything. So I grew to believe that I was unworthy, unlovable, and useless unless the person had an ulterior motive. I became seriously depressed to the point that I was diagnosed with medically-resistant depression. I was suicidal and thought of ways to kill myself daily. I sought counseling but it always failed to benefit me.

I attended a depression and anxiety recovery program in November 2018. I had a gun in one hand and pills in the other and told God if He didn’t get me in the program that I was done. I met a man named Paul with a ministry called “Straight 2 the Heart” who taught me about Jesus’s suffering and being tempted with my negative thoughts.

In the prayer process, receivers listen for God’s still small voice and encouragement. So often that encouragement has come in Matthew West’s songs as God reminds me of my identity and value. I’ve been sober and off of narcotic prescriptions and hard liquor for just over 2 years.

Thank you for letting me share.

“God reminds me of my identity and value.”

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Matthew likes to call the moment he decided to follow God his " Blue Couch" moment. When you craft your story, you can share your "Blue Couch" moment or other stories where you have seen God at work in your life.
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