God Has Me

“It broke me…”

God Has Me

Francis: I’m not sure what area this story falls under but here it goes. 32 years ago, when I was 13, I lost my mom to cancer. It broke me and every day I thought about ending my life. My mom raised us Catholic and she loved God. I knew that murder is a sin and knew that taking my own life would also be a sin, and I would never see my mom again which I wanted to do. (I know now and have learned a lot about mental health.) I knew about and believed in Him but didn’t go regularly to church anymore.

Years later when I was in my 20s, I knew that my life was missing something. I had best friends that ultimately betrayed me and I felt like I couldn’t depend on anyone and that nothing was constant. I wanted Jesus. I knew I needed him. I went back to the Catholic church my mom used to take us to, but when the service ended, I didn’t feel changed. I stopped going.

A while later my brother found a Christian church and would invite me every week but I always said no and I wasn’t ready. Part of me thought I would be betraying my mom because she raised me Catholic. But one day, I guess I can say I hit rock bottom and I got ready and joined him. I absolutely loved the church and the music. And it got me interested in reading the Bible. I continued going up to 3 times a week and I volunteered there. Jesus became my constant. Christian music was and is the only thing that plays in my car. In 2014, my other brother (not the same one) passed away tragically from a motorcycle accident. On the way to his house after getting the news, “No Matter What” by Kerrie Roberts was playing on the radio. I was crying for my brother but I knew he was with Jesus and I would see him again. Two years later, I lost my dad. Life has been so hard without that half of my family and I miss them every day (including my mom) because no matter how long it’s been, it still feels like yesterday.

I wake up every day and know that God has me and that my Jesus is with me every step of the way. This is my biggest testimony. I’ve self published a book going into more detail and how much more God has blessed me with. Not for my glory but for His. I want people to know they’re not alone.

“Not for my glory but for His.”

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Matthew likes to call the moment he decided to follow God his " Blue Couch" moment. When you craft your story, you can share your "Blue Couch" moment or other stories where you have seen God at work in your life.
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