God Was There

“God was so far away…”

God Was There

Lori:  Well, here I am, in the ER again. God has given me many trials to concur… it seems like a new one almost every day! I started my life as a shy military brat, I married at 17 after my mom abandoned my family for another man, so I did not know where to turn! No church, never really been to one…God was so far away! The man I married controlled me by using the threat of suicide if I didn’t follow his will. But in 1977, at 18, I had a beautiful baby girl who made it all worthwhile. I began working as a nurse tech in a nursing home and found my worth.

In 1985, I became an RN. I am dyslexic and now I know that God played a hand in my passing college. He helped me to use my knowledge to save lives and quietly waited for me to follow Him. I remained with my husband until, at the age of 30, I was diagnosed with melanoma and was unsure if I would live. I knew I couldn’t stay in this loveless marriage anymore; my daughter did not deserve that life of walking on eggshells. Divorce was rough but freedom was wonderful. I then met my second husband on a blind date. Really, the very first date I had ever had. We had our daughter (my second, his first) in 1995. God still wasn’t in the picture (well, He was, I just didn’t know how to find Him).

My husband wanted to go to church, but I just didn’t want to try! I was a good person, isn’t that enough? When I was 40, I was diagnosed with lupus and have been sick with it on and off. Thankfully, it did not affect my career. I was working in a very busy ICU and was a good, tough nurse! I would take the hardest patients in the unit!

40 was also the age I found God!!! I walked into this little church and God told me that I was at home! He was preparing me for the toughest part of my life!

In 2003, my husband (Army National Guard), brother (Army Ranger) and nephew (Army, 101st Airborne) all were deployed to Iraq. My husband was gone from our home for 17 months (13 months overseas) and they all came home safely.

My husband was a HET truck driver. They were very necessary to move tanks and other big equipment around. His unit drove 1 million miles over there. He was deployed another time in 2006 but had heart problems and had to be sent home.

Emotionally, I could not have made it without my church family! I was convinced to go to The Emmaus Walk in 2008. I didn’t feel like I should because I was still such a young Christian. God was again preparing me!

In 2009, at the age of 50, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. After three rounds of chemo and many surgeries I was cured! God was there. He sat beside me when I was at my lowest. He was with me when my boss said I would lose my job if I did not come back to work (even though I needed two more rounds of chemo.) He was with me! I made it!

The chemo and lupus got rough on me, I have severe arthritis, having both knees replaced not long after. I was doing great! I told everyone about my healing! I began having short term memory loss, to the point that I was fearful for my patients.

Then, my mother died and 43 days later my father died (they both were married to other people and lived in two different states.) My dad was my everything, and when I lost him, I couldn’t even make a full sentence! I never went back to work. Since then, I have had my hip and rotator cuff replaced, two back procedures, I have had a pulmonary embolus, encephalitis from mono, neurotoxicity, my feet have so many bone spurs that my walking is very limited, lymphedema/lipedema, and so many more. God has given me the strength to get over each one!

I have two beautiful daughters and two beautiful granddaughters. — They all give me such joy!  I love my church. I am the toddler Sunday school teacher, sing in the choir, run the women’s ministry, and watch the children for Celebrate Recovery.  Unfortunately, a lot of these have been closed since Covid, but I do help teach about Jesus in our local elementary school, and I just started a new prayer ministry, praying for the local school. My husband and I go at 6 am once a week and shine our lights on the school. I love my Jesus and any way possible, I want to follow!

So, why am I here, sitting in the ER? I am pretty sure that I have torn or ruptured the abductor muscle in my leg, I have not been able to put weight on it. I know He will be there for me! Just you wait and see…

“I love my Jesus…”

Struggling Through a
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Matthew likes to call the moment he decided to follow God his " Blue Couch" moment. When you craft your story, you can share your "Blue Couch" moment or other stories where you have seen God at work in your life.
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