To Matthew: I’ve been a big fan of your music for years now – mainly the stories in the songs. I thought I would share my story with you.
My wife and I were married in 2004, and a couple of years into our marriage, we tried to have a child with no success. We went to fertility doctors, but still no luck. My wife has always felt passionate about helping others, especially kids, so we began the process of becoming foster parents. In 2008, we received a call that there were two kids- a brother and sister- that needed a home and were available for adoption. The girl was 6 and her brother 4. Of course, we were looking for a baby like most, but how can you say no to two little ones that need a home? They came to live in our home the day before Thanksgiving that year. We finalized the adoption process the following year. Two years later, my wife called and gave me the best news I could imagine, she was pregnant! Six years into our marriage, we finally were pregnant. Unfortunately, only a few weeks later she had a miscarriage. This was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. My wife and I have always been very involved in church. I have been the youth minister in our church for many years and was ordained as a deacon in 2008. When this happened, I was very close to giving it all up and for a couple of months after the miscarriage I did. I was hurting badly, asking God “WHY”? Why give me something I have wanted so badly for so long, just to take it away? We eventually got back to doing all the things we had done before. The pain was still there, I just learned to push it aside and do the work God has called me to do. My wife was able to minister to other couples going through similar situations because of what she had gone through.
Fast forward to 2019. My wife has always had problems with her cycles. She has been in and out of doctors offices to help her. She finally decided she had been in pain long enough, and with her turning 40 at the end of the year, it was time to have a hysterectomy. On March 12, 2019, she went in for a pre-op. She was required to do a pregnancy test at the doctor’s office, which of course was negative. Then she went to the hospital, where they made her do another test, which was negative. March 14, two days later, she went in for her surgery. She got dressed up in one of those beautiful hospital gowns, got an IV into her arm, and then they said they needed another pregnancy test. She told them that she had just taken two, two days prior. They told her they had to have one within 24 hrs. This one came back positive. She said, “there is no way.” So they took a blood sample to confirm. By this time, they had brought me back to see her. She told me her test came back positive and they were doing a blood test to confirm. I was speechless. I thought to myself, “Surely the blood test will come back negative and straighten this whole mess out.” The Blood test came back with an HCG of 23…which less than 10 means not pregnant. Greater than 25 is considered pregnant. However, in-between those numbers and they’re really not sure. We were sent home with a follow up appointment scheduled for two weeks. Talk about a long two weeks! I was about to lose my mind. All those thoughts and feelings from the miscarriage so many years ago came flooding back in. I could not concentrate on anything. We went in for our first appointment, they did a sonogram and there it was…a heartbeat. We really were pregnant, for the second time in our 15 year marriage. If her surgery had been one day earlier, we would have never known. Talk about God’s timing!
As the weeks went by and as friends and family, and our two wonderful kids were told, they were all so excited. My wife was just over the moon, and she had a glow that I am not sure I have ever seen. But me, not so much. I still couldn’t get the doubt out of my head. I felt like Zachariah, whose mouth was shut after he doubted. People would say to me, “You just don’t look excited about it.” I was, I was more excited about this little miracle than I had ever been about anything, but I was scared to death at the same time. I was scared that the same thing would happen again, so I made myself not get excited.
Fast forward a few months, to November 11th, 2019. My little boy, Jace, was born 7lb 7oz and 20 ¾ in. We are just overwhelmed by this little miracle. We have learned that we can’t predict what God has planned for us. Just when you think life is going one way he will send you somewhere different. We wanted a baby so bad many years ago. God gave us two wonderful kids that needed a family as much as we did. We both were content with what we had. My wife turned 40, 23 days after our son was born. This was not what we had planned but it’s what God planned for us. We could not be more grateful for the blessings God has given us.
Thank you for sharing people’s stories of how God has moved in their lives. It truly helps us to see how we are not alone in this struggle of life. I have used many of these stories with my youth group, hoping they can find inspiration as I have.