Cindy: I was molested as a young child. My way of coping was to self harm, which became an addiction for me. If I was stressed, anxious, sad, or mad I would hurt myself. The self harming behaviors escalated to cutting and burning myself. It was something I could control. I decided how often I cut, how deep the cut would be, and how many marks I would make. I believed that my control was stolen from me as a child and this was my way of taking control back. What I needed was to give that control over to God.
In 2012, I finally gave God control and surrendered my addiction to Him. I had given my life to Christ as a child, but I finally realized He never intended for me to carry that load all by myself. He didn’t need my scars, I needed His.
I am so thankful that God placed people in my life who supported me through that difficult time period of healing, but mental illness is still somewhat of a taboo subject. We aren’t supposed to show signs of weakness. I’m here today to share His-story for me. I am only here because of God’s mercy and grace. I tried multiple times to end my life, but today I try to offer hope to those who are struggling with self harm, depression, and mental illness.
I want to share how great our God is. He can take a misfit like me and use my story to show He can take a mess and turn it into a message. My story isn’t over, it’s only the beginning.
