Venia: I am in Celebrate Recovery. It has helped me so much this past year and I wanted to share my story with you. In 1992, I had an abortion and it took me until 2018 to truly forgive myself for it. For years, I had so much guilt about it and every August I would think about how old my baby would be since August would have been his birth month. I had 2 toddlers and my husband left me for another woman. I was so lost and depressed. I thought of ending my life. I was barely taking care of the two I had and I was wondering how I was going to take care of the one that that was growing in my belly.
I went to a counselor and shared my situation. They told me that if I thought abortion was my answer, then to go ahead with it. I needed someone to tell me it was “ok.” So, as I was waiting for my appointment, I prayed for a way out. I even hoped for a flat tire on my way from Oklahoma to Dallas to the clinic, to stop me. But, no flat tire. The abortion was the most horrific thing that I have ever gone through. Afterwards, I thought I was okay, but I wasn’t. I have carried this guilt with me for 26 years. I still have triggers at times. I am unable to listen to the song or see the move, “Unplanned.” But, your music has spoken to me over the years and I love it.
I am sharing my story for the first time in my Celebrate Recovery group and using “The God Who Stays” as part of my testimony because it’s a reminder to me that He never left me during all that time, He was there waiting for me to run back to Him.