What Is Wrong With Me?

“I was done…”

What Is Wrong With Me?

Christina:  I would like to tell my story about my miscarriages and how God came in and blessed us with two precious rainbow babies. We had our first son fine and healthy. After that, we tried to have another baby and a few years later I got pregnant. We were both so happy! I went to the doctor for an ultrasound when I was 7 weeks along and they said there was no heartbeat. We were so sad and couldn’t believe it at all! They said I could pass the baby at home, so I did. It was no fun at all. I was in so much pain but we got to see our baby- his or her eyes and fingers. It was the saddest thing to ever go through. I was thinking, my first was fine, how come not this one? We buried our baby by my grandpa’s grave that I was so close to. It was like everywhere I went I would see babies and pregnant women and I thought it would kill me.

Later, I got pregnant again, but that ended in miscarriage as well. And then I had a third miscarriage before I became pregnant a fourth time. Then the fourth time being pregnant, we went in for an ultrasound and I was fine. The baby’s heartbeat was good. We both were so happy. I was crying and praising God. Then when we went back in a few days, …there was no heartbeat! It broke me. I was questioning God, why? Why? I was crying in the doctor’s office- I couldn’t help it. The nurse walked in and told me to hush because of how loud and upset I was, but she didn’t know what I was going through!

I was thinking, what is going on? What is wrong with me? I’ve had people tell me I should stop having babies, and all kinds of stuff but they didn’t know that I had a problem. I thought maybe I would have a safe and healthy pregnancy soon. Tim, my husband, was asking,  “how come all these people have babies and don’t even take care of them, but we just can’t have one more baby?” He gave up and said he wasn’t going back to church, that he was done!! I was about to be the same way as well. I didn’t though- I told my husband we had to stay in church. We had to be strong and stay with God.

I finally found a specialist three hours away from us. He did all kinds of blood work- probably 10 to 15 tubes of blood to find out what was going on. Sure enough God showed us which doctor to go to, because after that I got pregnant again. He gave me all kinds of medicine and blood thinning shots to take every night in my stomach. I had my husband do it and it was so painful, but all worth it in the end. God gave us our rainbow miracle baby boy Logan,  who is 6 today.

A few years after that I got pregnant again. I was 10 weeks and did the shots and medicine and I lost the baby again. It was hard. We found out it was going to be another boy and he was going to have Down Syndrome or something. I was done for good…it was so hard going through all of this. Unexpectedly, I got pregnant again. I did everything again found out we were having our first beautiful girl. You should have seen me! I was jumping up and down, yelling to my mom “it’s a girl!” She was so happy as well!! She was like, “be careful! Don’t jump too high or you will hurt her.” We had our healthy and beautiful baby girl and today she is 2 years old. She was a pandemic baby, so I was in the hospital with her all by myself a lot. My husband got to come some but not a whole lot. I was upset that we had our first daughter and no one got to see her, but we did a live video. I got to bond with her.

When it seems like there is no way, God always makes a way!! I want to say if you have been through a miscarriage, I understand what you are going through. I wanted to tell my story so other women and couples that have been through it never give up!

You never get over it, you just heal a little on the way down the road. You never forget what they may be like today if they were here, but they are in the arms of our Lord and Savior!
My heart goes out to all the ones that have been going through miscarriages out there today!

“God came in…”

Struggling Through a
Similar Situation?

Inspired to Share Your Story?

Matthew likes to call the moment he decided to follow God his " Blue Couch" moment. When you craft your story, you can share your "Blue Couch" moment or other stories where you have seen God at work in your life.
Send this to a friend