Blair: My story begins in a very bad place, full of shame, regret, and sadness. I had a very overbearing mother who made my life miserable. There were many days of “walking on eggshells.” As I grew into a teenager, I started really feeling very low self-worth and self-esteem. I felt ugly. I was bullied and I felt like I had nowhere to turn. My family went to church but only to be seen. There was no Bible visible in my house and God and Jesus were not talked about. As my life progressed through college, getting married, and having kids, my faith remained surface level and weak. I developed depression and anxiety that I have battled with for 24 years! It’s taken many therapy appointments and appointments with the psychiatrist. It hurts me to say, but I spent several times in the hospital and had two suicide attempts before they finally got my medication right. My 4 children, all boys, were met with the most tragic event in all our lives. My husband and their father passed away suddenly in the ICU on December 24th, 2015. My boys were 17, 15, 11, and 9. Prior to his death, as well as after, I attended a contemporary service at a local church. The music was inspirational. I began listening to my local Christian music radio station. I began going to Bible Study. I felt like a sponge because I wanted to learn about Jesus and His life-giving strength, hope, and comfort. Along with doctors and medication, Jesus brought me out of the hole I was in and He led me to the Lord. If my life was going to end up like it has and I knew that it would, I wouldn’t change a thing, because it was that long and arduous valley that brought me to the mountain top with God. I still have days of sadness and grief, but with God’s unconditional love, grace, and mercy, I now know that every day my God empowers me to keep going step by step and minute by minute. I’m still on my faith journey as we all are, but through friends, my church, my pastor and the list could go on and on, I am stronger than anything that Satan tries to throw at me. The battle is the Lord’s and I am so happy that I let him into my broken world. All the trials led me to the Lord and He broke the chains of depression and anxiety, giving me hope for a brighter future and the knowledge that I am not alone. “There is another in the fire” with me and He will never, ever leave my side.
