I Survived

“I suffered all manner of abuse.”

I Survived

My name is Cyndi. My broken story started before I was even born. I was the last of my bio mom’s 7 kids.  Unfortunately, she was an alcoholic who drank during her pregnancy, so I have Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.

When I was born in 1971, I weighed about 3 lbs. I was adopted at age 1. Unfortunately, the family I was adopted into was dysfunctional. I suffered all manner of abuse, including sexual abuse. This hurt me so bad that I wanted to die for many years.

I was diagnosed at twenty with Bipolar Disorder. But I didn’t take the medication because I just didn’t want to. I got pregnant at twenty-one.  I literally had my son on my twenty second birthday.  I married his dad four months later.

But my husband was abusive, mentally, emotionally, and verbally.  And because I had never dealt with my previous abuse, I believed his abuse was my fault. Not only did I stay with him and raise my son, but I also had another child, a daughter, when my son was six years old.

Even though I thought our problems were my fault, I still knew how ridiculous that sounded because I knew I didn’t really want to live like that. I separated from him when my daughter was three and tried to take the kids.

He used lies and insinuation to get them back. I ended up being divorced and having visitation with my kids. It wasn’t easy, but we managed to survive. You may wonder about my faith throughout all of this. Don’t worry, I’m getting there!  I was raised Catholic but got into the Jehovah’s Witnesses in 1996. I stayed that in that group until November of 2022, when I learned it wasn’t what I had been led to believe.

I was a lost soul for a little while but came back to Christianity the next November and have been loving it since. I’m quite happy these days. I do take meds. I have two spectacular kids and a wonderful granddaughter. I’ve been through more therapy than I care to admit and I’m still in it. But I’ve learned that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.

Because I spent twenty-seven years not doing any holidays or birthdays, I take care to do them all and really celebrate them.  I really appreciate and enjoy my friends and family. So, I guess I have a pretty good ending to my broken story.

But it’s all because of Jesus. I do wish that my kids would love Jesus like I do, but they have to get to know him from a different perspective now. Just like I did.

“I have a pretty good end to my broken story.”

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