Mad At God

“I fought with everything I had…”

Mad At God

Emily:  Hello, I’m Emily. I’m a 10 time Breast Cancer Survivor. Yes, you read that right, ….TEN.

It all began with a stomach ache in 2008. As I went to my doctor for a routine exam, she found the Cancer! Of course, I had to go through an ultrasound and mammogram first, but my doctor had saved my life by detecting this early, I thought.

I was 33, had 3 kids, (ages 6, 2, and 8 months) and a full-time job teaching 1st graders at a public school. Cancer? Who has time for Cancer? I was told it is an aggressive form and difficult to treat, because doctors don’t know much about it. I have Triple Negative Breast Cancer. I fought with everything I had through chemo, radiation and a lumpectomy.

God and I spent a lot of time talking about how I was going to win this battle and with His help, I did, for 4 1/2 years.

The Demon itself returned in March of 2012, just before my 5 year clear mark. I was devastated, scared, angry, frustrated and MAD at God. Why was this happening to me again? Why do I have to go through this again? This isn’t fair! God carried me through the second battle, just as He did the first with just as much grace and comfort.

Fast-forward to 2022. I’ve now had TWO double mastectomies, a lumpectomy, ten biopsies, a DIEP flap reconstruction surgery, 3 more rounds of chemo (78 total treatments), 3 different types of radiation (67 total treatments), and Proton therapy (35 treatments) to try and kill this cancer. It has reared its ugly head 10 times and this is going to be the last!!!

Just a month and a half ago, I learned about a new drug that people were having success rates with. It was a Godsend and true miracle. An email delivered to my inbox revealed something we’ve been waiting for for 15 years!!!! The product is working and I will have another scan in February to hear that there is NED (No evidence of disease)!!! I am positive after reading the success stories!

I tell my story to say this… God is the only reason I am still here!!!! Nobody survives Cancer 10 times without God. Period. ✝️ If you are battling Cancer of any kind, just know that God is on your side and He is the ultimate healer!!!! Without Him and our faith, we are nothing!! I’m still standing AND teaching for 15 years and 10 battles later!

God is so good and Matthew West, you’re my favorite!!! Your music inspires me and the children in my class from rough homes every single day!! Our favorite is “How Good Of God!”

“God is on your side and He is the ultimate healer!!!”

Struggling Through a
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Matthew likes to call the moment he decided to follow God his " Blue Couch" moment. When you craft your story, you can share your "Blue Couch" moment or other stories where you have seen God at work in your life.
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