My name is Caleb, and I wanted to share my story of healing. In 2017, I had some tests done after I had developed symptoms of lightheadedness, extremely painful headaches and a few other symptoms. One of the tests was a brain scan, where they found an anomaly. My parents and I were kept mostly in the dark with the whole situation. We only found out how serious it was when they rang us and asked for us to send the scans to one of the big hospitals in Sydney, Australia.
A few weeks passed with back and forth phone calls and doctors appointments, when we found out what it was. It was a tumor, which the doctors couldn’t work out if it was cancer or an abnormal growth of cells. The doctors said that surgery was an option due to the tumor possibly being cancerous. They declared the date for my operation was the 13th of December, 2017. I was 13 at the time, and scared, as I knew the risks and how quickly things could go wrong. While family, friends, and strangers prayed for me and healing, I couldn’t work out why God was putting me through this.
A week or two before the surgery, my mum had a fight with my nan (her mum), after my nan accused her of having no faith or trust in God. Mum did trust in God and had faith, but she was looking at the other possibility of losing me. I remember turning to mum after my nan left and said ” Yes, we must trust in God for healing, but we also must remember to account for the possibility of me not coming out of the surgery”. I know it’s a bit of a grim thought, but I wanted to comfort my mum, just in case.
The surgery came and went. I woke up a bit groggy the first day, but by the second, I wanted to get up and run around, go outside and try new things. But the tubes and cables attached to me stopped me. My parents bought me a Lego Technic set to build while I recovered, which was meant to last more than a day, if I rested (which I did not, despite multiple nurses and doctors asking me to). When the day finally came when the results of the tumor came back, we were relieved that it wasn’t cancer. The same day the doctor came for the results, he also checked the stitching on where they operated and was astonished to find it had healed faster than he had ever seen. We were given the all clear to go home a few days later.
Later that year, I developed symptoms of migraines and epilepsy, which were confirmed. It was hard with new restrictions on what I was allowed to do. I was banned from getting a license to drive, I was banned from rifle shooting with my Grandfather and wasn’t to be left alone. I became very depressed, I became angry with God and blamed Him for my misfortune. I turned from God. To be honest, I believe that was the worst thing I did. My life became even darker without His light to guide me. Eventually I had thoughts of ending my own life. I went to see a counselor, but it didn’t make a difference.
One morning I woke up, in the middle of the first COVID lockdown, extremely depressed and went to attempt to end my life, when something stopped me. It felt like a presence, and like a voice telling me to stop. I felt like I could see again and I realized what I nearly did. I eventually worked through it, opening up more to my family about how I felt. I now pray to God, read the Bible and watch movies about God’s miracles. More healing from God came after developing a relationship with Him. I was cleared to drive, and am able to help others in ways I wouldn’t have, especially without this experience. During my depression, God showed me a way to create with my hands. He gave me the skills of woodworking. Every time I work with wood, I feel God giving me the wisdom and strength to help create something amazing. I have learnt a few lessons from my past- the biggest is taking one day at a time and trusting God. And I thank God for leading me to music when I needed it the most, especially Matthew West’s music and Casting Crowns. Thank you for the music.
