Aidan: A while ago, I lost the will to live. I was broken. Days felt like years, and I could hardly stand the pain. I kept going, but I didn’t know why. Every week or so I would see a glimpse of hope and God working in the mess but my soul was just broken.
One day, I couldn’t handle the pain anymore and I just broke down and asked God to help me, save me. I just said it over and over again: “Help, help, help. Help me, please.” Sure enough, He came through.
Later that day, like I normally do, I was wondering what would happen when we got to Walmart, wondering if my friend would be there and how he would get there, etc. I came to the conclusion that his sister would have brought him there. It was a strange thought so I put it out of my mind and told myself I was crazy. Just as I was about to break down crying in Walmart, there they were. My friend and his sister walking past. We didn’t talk, just said ‘hello’ to each other and walked on, but something in me had changed. No longer did I want to die. I just felt it in my bones to look to Jesus and I did. And while I’ve had moments of depression, pain, brokenness, and everything between since then, I haven’t gotten to that place again. That soul-wrenching place is no longer there. God came, and I know that for you He’ll do the same.
The road for healing is long, and I’d be lying if I said it was easy, but He has you in His hands. If He’s got you this far, He won’t let go now. Believe. Trust. And even if you can’t, that’s ok too. Remember: it doesn’t matter what you do, how you feel, or anything else. God’s taught me time and time again that you don’t have to be anything other than how you are at the moment for Him to work. He will. Love you all.
